A Legacy of Service

Right now, Freddy is lying naked on the floor. He loves being naked. Thus, when we need to get things done, we strip him naked. These days we don’t have to do much laundry.

Here’s my extremely belated Father’s Day and Mother’s Day post. Mother’s Day we enjoyed celebrating Freddy’s dedication at the Moody Church. Baby dedication (for the infant baptism folks) is when you present your baby to the congregation, and everyone commits to raising him/her in the faith. Usually it’s a quick pray and exit, but since we were the only family that day, we were invited to share a bit of the story of Freddy’s arrival (infertility, adoption, etc.). It was quite the honor! Even more fun, our parents and friends were in attendance. We finished the morning off with a yummy brunch. Definitely an awesome first Mother’s Day.

Dedication

For Father’s Day, we took a Sabbath from packing and spent time lounging at home, visiting a friend and meeting old friends for dinner. Freddy made Grandpa and Dad his first craft project.

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A few months ago, in cleaning out some old boxes, BB found a local Cincinnati magazine that featured his father on the cover. Before going into private law practice, Larry had a career as a police officer and federal prosecutor and no stranger to public service, volunteered as a firefighter for over 20 years. The article highlighted a time when he heard over the radio that a child in the neighborhood was choking. Larry arrived on the scene within a few minutes and saved the child’s life. There are probably dozens more stories like this one. Reading this article again, caused us to reflect on our parents and how each of them has spent at least a portion of their lives serving others.

My dad, David, serves anyone he can, whenever he can. He dutifully coached my sister’s basketball team for three years (I only remember him getting kicked out on technical fouls once or twice). He’s always the first to offer to do something for someone else, whether it’s helping them move, visiting them in the hospital or providing a listening ear. He recently taught a class at the local prison to inmates about to be released on finding and holding a job. For many years, he regularly visited a local nursing home to keep a few folks company.

BB’s mom, Jane, was a schoolteacher. As anyone knows, that’s one of the hardest jobs there is! As an accountant, she worked for her kids’ school board for many years (you can imagine the challenges there) and served as the Treasurer for her church for as long as I’ve known her. She’s one of the most giving mothers I’ve ever met – never passing up an opportunity to give of herself to her children and grandchildren.

After my sisters and I moved out of the house, my mom, JoAnn, decided to use her experience having been a teen mom to mentor and counsel other young women with unplanned pregnancies and young mothers. We have enjoyed seeing those relationships grow over the years. She volunteered at our school when we were young whenever an opportunity arose, and excluding that one time when she got lost on the way to take us to do a service project, I think she really enjoyed it.

We have been so blessed by this rich legacy, who can blame us for wanting in on it? We look forward to carrying on the legacy for Freddy. Thanks Moms and Dads! Happy Mother’s and Father’s Day!

International Justice Mission

I’ve spoken a bit about how we are heading to Rwanda in a few weeks, but I haven’t yet explained why. I will be a legal fellow with International Justice Mission (“IJM”) (www.ijm.org). I am so excited about this opportunity to work with an organization I’ve followed for a number of years.

IJM seeks to protect poor people from oppressive violence in four ways – victim relief, perpetrator accountability, victim aftercare, and structural transformation. The investigators, lawyers and aftercare workers work across 18 field offices on seven different types of cases – bonded labor, sex trafficking, illegal detention, land grabbing, police brutality, hill tribe citizenship, and child sexual assault. In Rwanda, IJM focuses on cases of child sexual assault.

I have prayed for at least a year for guidance on my career. I have wanted to focus my skills on serving the poor, but I could not quite figure out how. After I left the law firm last fall, I applied to IJM – not thinking it would happen – but telling God that if he wanted to send us abroad, we would go.

I originally learned of IJM from my sister-in-law in Cincinnati. She heard Gary Haugen (IJM’s President and Founder) speak at Crossroads Church in Cincinnati and because I was in law school, she thought of me. From that time forward, IJM stayed on my radar.

So when we came home from Congo last summer after all our big plans fell apart, I decided to take the plunge and apply. After a few interviews, I received the offer just two weeks before Freddy was born.

I fully admit that it is with trepidation and humility that I embark on this job. It’s tough work, and it will likely bring me to my breaking point. I don’t have naïve idealism that I will change the world, but I have full confidence that I will return changed.

More to come!

New Blog Look; Same Hilarious, Thought-Provoking Content

If you’ve recently tried to go to Delighted in the Lord, you will have been re-directed to my new site.  Thanks to BB and Karen and Rhyme & Reason Design (http://www.rhymeandreasondesign.com/) for the new look.  The witty title is all me.  Now every time you read, you will have this great song stuck in your head!  You’re welcome.

I wanted a fresh look now that the blog will be shifting from mostly adoption focused to broader social justice issues along with our family updates while we are living in Rwanda.

Now that I have my own domain (no idea what that means), I can also apparently upload videos.  So prepare yourself for some cute Fred videos in the future.  I know, you can hardly stand it!

In other news, we are just under 6 weeks away from our departure date.  If you came to our apartment right now, seating would be limited as would anywhere to set your drink.  And you would have to step over lots of piles of stuff.  I really want to just pack and get it over with, but I guess we are still using some of this stuff in the meantime.

Last weekend we spent time with our St. Louis family members.  It was our first familial goodbye.  It’s hard to imagine what our life will be like when we next see them again.

On the drive, we worked on our 2013 Family Business Plan (timely, right?).  Our five-year vision is basically a blank sheet of paper that says “alive” and “Fred in school.”  I am totally ok with that plan.

I’m really excited to share some new content with you all, and I am humbled that anyone reads this blog at all.  BB must really believe in me since I think he spent about 15 hours on this re-design in the last two days.  That, or he was really trying to avoid doing something else (can’t imagine what that would be given his wife who does nothing by walk aimlessly around the apartment complaining about how she is paralyzed by her growing to do list).

Have a great weekend!

The Mundane and the Amazing

First things first, I need a new name for the blog.  Something catchy that conveys the topic (which is really broad – my spiritual journey, motherhood, social justice, adoption, orphan care, chocolate eating…).  But I have no creative bones in my body.  Please help me by commenting with your suggestions.

 I had such a rejuvenating day today.  BB got up early with Freddy, which allowed me an extra hour of sleep, followed by a cold, rainy run and finished off with a cup of coffee and a Bible study.  I need to figure out how to start every day that way.

Freddy and I had fun visiting my sweet sister at her nanny job.  The little girl (1.5 years old) enjoyed throwing her ball at him and at one point sat on his head.  Freddy, of course, remained smiling and unaware.

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You can see that Freddy still has quite the affinity for hand-towels and washcloths.  Perhaps a job as a bathroom attendant in his future?  Or maybe Bed Bath and Beyond? 

I had a fabulous lunch with a great friend, also a new mom.  A visit from another friend and her sweet girls who entertained the boy and brought peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.  Finally, a visit from a friend who cut BB’s and my hair.  Her passion for helping victims of sex trafficking spurred on great conversation, and I think I may now know where all my stuff needs to go when we move [in 7 weeks!!!!].  :)

All this grace.  Undeserved.  Who am I to merit such rich relationships with people?  Such love poured out on me and my family.  If not for the Holy Spirit, I would have never met these friends.  These precious people who pray for me, chat with me, bring me cookies, and cut my hair.

My cup overflows tonight.  May I never forget such grace bestowed on me.

 

Explanations

I’m struggling with suffering these days.  Not my own, but others.  I have family members who are suffering, and I don’t like it.

I am a seriously left-brained person.  There’s not an ounce of creativity in me.  I am all logic, all the time.  I don’t feel things.  I think them.  And then I overthink them some more.  I want to know why.  Why does this loving God who I place my trust in allow such suffering to go on?  Suffering that seems so arbitrary, so unrelated to anything and clearly not the result of anyone’s bad choices.

I know all the theological answers, but they don’t really answer the question.  Most of the time, I am ok with that.  I know my place in relation to a holy God.  I’m not meant to understand everything.  I can only see one small piece of the puzzle.  It’s like my dog wanting to understand why she can’t eat at the dining room table with us.  I just can’t explain it to her, and if I tried, she wouldn’t get it.  She’s a dog.  [I'm not saying humans are dogs, just trying to draw some sort of analogy to wrap my brain around the issue.]

But it’s frustrating!  I want it to end.  I don’t want the people I love to hurt.  I don’t want them to doubt that God loves them in the midst of their trials.  And I know that my God can stop it.

That is faith.  Trusting in something you can’t explain.  Going back to the Word, to what I know is true.  God loves us.  Jesus wept for his people.  We are in the midst of a redemption story, but all has not yet been restored and redeemed. 

Is it possible?

There’s a lot of press these days about ethical adoptions.  A number of new books have recently come out, a documentary is making a nationwide tour, and the DRC has been seeing some ups and downs with its program (maybe other countries too, but I mostly follow DRC).

On one of my FB group pages, a common question is posed:  How can we ensure that adoptions are ethical?  I love the hearts of the adoptive parents out there.  We all want to have ethical adoptions.  No one gets into adoption to traffic a child.  I personally know parents who have discovered that their adoption shouldn’t have passed muster, and the heartache is great.  But is it possible to avoid this?  The how is so much harder.

Faced with the difficulty of ensuring an ethical adoption, parents can go one of three ways:  give up entirely, go forward in the face of possible shady circumstances, and move heaven and earth to try and do it ethically.  There are certainly pros and cons to each approach, and it’s hard to say which is really the right answer.  The waters are muddy.

And isn’t that what’s so hard about ethics?  Once you are sure that no laws are broken, there’s still an area of gray.  Sometimes the answer is unclear.

This is why I am still on the fence about starting again.  I don’t want to give up, but I am scared of getting back in the water.  I don’t want to screw it up!

As a Christian, I am called to get into the water.  All the way to the deep end.  Yes, we can’t fix all the problems with international adoption.  The whole idea comes out of a broken, messy tragedy.  Same with global poverty, world hunger, sex trafficking, war.  There are no easy answers.  But we have to try, don’t we?  Because sometimes it works.  Sometimes there is redemption.

And, really, what else do we have to do?  Isn’t this why we are on earth?  To work towards redemption and restoration.  I can’t sit home and just focus on myself and my family.  That’s not why I was put on the earth.  I have been given so much, and I have a responsibility to use my resources towards this goal of restoration.

It’s scary.  It’s hard.  I don’t have any answers.  But I will keep walking forward in obedience to the One who does.

New Adventures

So BB has the greatest one liners, but I always forget them by the time I sit down to blog.  I remember this one though:

BB:  You know, babies are a lot cooler than people think they are.

Seven years ago, BB and I had the privilege of visiting our awesome friends S & C in Kigali, Rwanda, by far the most beautiful place we have ever visited.  Thus, our love for East Africa was born (we also visited Tanzania and Kenya).  When we decided to adopt, we knew it had to be Africa, and we sought to adopt from Rwanda.  Just as we were beginning, Rwanda closed to international adoption.

A few years later, here our hearts are drawn back to that small land.  Not to adopt, although we are still talking about adoption in our future.

Remember how I mentioned we were doing an even bigger purge of our belongings than the fast of 2012?  By July, we will have reduced our worldly belongings to a few suitcases as we will be heading out on a new adventure.  We are moving to Kigali!

I’ve accepted a position with an organization (more on this later) to do legal work, and we’ve committed to be there for one year.  After that, who knows?

This opportunity will allow me to serve vulnerable children, which was truly the reason we sought to adopt.  Of course, as with all such adventures, we know we will be blessed more than we will be blessing.

We are excited and overwhelmed.  We are sad to leave our families, but apparently all they care about is Fred.  They keep offering to keep him but don’t ask us to stay…  It’s a crazy thing to do in many ways, but not as crazy as adopting three kids, I suppose.  At least, not as permanent.  We can’t wait to see what God has in store for us.

The flavor of the blog may be changing, although I am really excited to learn more about how Rwanda is serving orphans.  They have been making that a priority and doing some great things in getting kids out of orphanages and into families.  I hope to blog about our life and my work and hope you continue to enjoy reading about it!

Who knows – maybe a picture of Fred with a monkey is in our future!