Last night we had to tell “our story” in our couples small group. In leading up to the night, we spent some time going through the highs and lows, telling stories – some of which I wish I didn’t remember! I struggled with how to tell the story.
Not all of our story is pretty. Some of it was downright ugly. It’s all too easy to fixate on those moments. I have this desire to make our story be something that it’s not. I want to cover the mess and make it a storybook romance. But then it wouldn’t be true, and it wouldn’t be real.
Maybe it’s actually more romantic and beautiful with the mess. We are two real people with real baggage and real sin. And yet we have come together and had some of the best times of our lives. We’ve taught each other how to love, how to fight, how to forgive, and how to trust. We are a work in progress, but looking back, we can see so much progress.
We were young, naive and imperfect when we got married. Now we are old, stubborn and still imperfect. We thought we knew what love was when we stood in front of the people and said I Do.
We know now that love is so much more than romance and passion and fun. It’s fighting for the other person when they’ve lost the will to fight. It’s being a safe place when the other is scared and lost. It’s giving grace when you just don’t want to because you know you are right. It’s forgiving the other person for not being perfect. It’s learning to love the other person’s faults and shortcomings. It’s laughing and being silly. It’s creating your own family. It’s long road trips and getting lost. It’s loving others together. It’s moving to another country where you only know each other. It’s grieving together and rejoicing together.
I don’t mean to be dramatic. Most of our marriage has been A+ material. We have a ridiculous amount of fun together, and we really like being around each. I love my sweet husband more than anyone else in the world (Fred is a really close second, but he pulls my hair and pukes on me so….).
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers out there.