Chaos

My life has been feeling a bit chaotic. I have to do lists written and typed in various places or floating in my head. It’s almost transition time again. So this post is going to be chaotic too.

The hard parts about this life we’ve chosen are always the unexpected. Transitions are so hard – one foot in and one foot out all the time. This year has it’s particular challenge in that we don’t get to spend a full year in Rwanda. Six months is way too short. I’ve barely gotten settled, and I’m already making packing lists again.

We will have about four months in the US, which months will be full of their own transitions. (I can’t remember, is having a newborn hard?) I can already see the effects of so much transition on Freddy – some good and some less so. It will be interesting to see how this life shapes him as he gets older.

It looks like our book may be published right about the time Baby 2.0 arrives. That seems fitting. I’ve been working a lot of side projects related to the book and adoption advocacy. It’s amazing to me that this has become such a big part of my life.

I think we might actually have to sleep train Fred (ugh, I hate that phrase). Bedtime has become extremely challenging. I’ve so enjoyed the freedom of nursing him to sleep and letting him decide when he was ready for various transitions (i.e. he started sleeping through the night on his own, etc.). But I’m so worn out, and nursing him for long stretches has become physically challenging for me between the lack of milk and my growing belly. I’m praying he just figures it out before this weekend. Otherwise, daddy sleep boot camp might be in effect. I’m fundamentally opposed to cry it out – we all have to do what we need to do, and that’s just not for me. So he’s going to have some long nights snuggling daddy, I think. We shall see.

BB has been in London for 10 days, and we are SO very ready for him to return.

2 thoughts on “Chaos

  1. Wow – the book is coming! I’m so excited. Adam and I were able to skype with Brittany DeVries in Panama last week, and Keren Riley came to visit in the Spring. Maybe one day I’ll meet Amanda and Holly in person, too!!! You are truly one of my everyday heroes, Amanda. I consider you a colleague and on-line friend. I’m praying for your family’s transition into a foursome and across continents an back! We are investigating options for a possible move into int’l development work, so who knows, maybe we’ll see you in Rwanda one day! Keep leaning your full weight out on the limb of his Love – his presence is trustworthy.

  2. Praying for this chaotic time in your life. And I’m really looking forward to your book and having yall in Chicago for a while. It’s “funny” how God chooses things to be parts of our lives. My life is nothing like I’d thought it look even after I came to terms with it not looking how I thought it would look.

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