Fred peed on my hair today while I was trying to suck a booger out of his nose. Yesterday, a small spec of poo flew into the air and landed on BB’s face. We have lost all dignity in this house.
We are 8 weeks into this crazy thing called parenthood, which makes me an expert on absolutely nothing except perhaps how to do laundry. Nevertheless, I have learned a few things in 8 weeks.
1. It is possible to sustain two human lives on a diet of coffee, cookies, bananas and pretzels, but only for two days.
2. Four hours of uninterrupted sleep turns me into a new woman. Anything under two hours makes me more tired.
3. I can go three days without showering and not notice it
4. Breastfeeding hurts at first. Anyone who says it doesn’t or shouldn’t is a big fat liar. And yes, I am talking about PAIN, not just discomfort (But it stops hurting, and it’s totally worth it.)
5. The pain of your hips spreading during pregnancy is only slightly worse than the pain of them coming back together.
6. Husbands of postpartum wives should get some sort of medal for coming home every day and not drinking themselves into a coma.
7. You feel super skinny for the first month after giving birth, which was awesome!
8. If you breastfeed, you must hydrate like you are running a marathon. Seriously, it’s nothing for me to drink 4 liters of water a day.
9. Streaming Netflix is the best thing the internet has ever given us besides the weather forecast. The West Wing has saved my sanity.
10. I still don’t understand why anyone in her right mind would do this again.
That said, Fred is amazing and adorable and oh so fun. Here are a few pics for your delight. Thanks for indulging me. I’ll get back to writing about more serious topics when my brain starts working again.