Throughout this month, I have been brought to my knees more than usual. Most times that I start craving something or feel that temptation coming, I immediately repeat Scripture, a phrase from a praise song or some other mantra to keep my eyes on the Lord. Some of my favorites – “man cannot live on bread alone but on every Word from God,” “I need thee, oh I need thee,” “Your grace is enough,” and “Jesus will satisfy.” These mini prayer moments were so helpful and joy-filled. I need these throughout my life.
I’ve been reading through some Spurgeon sermons on prayer, and it’s been challenging me to boldly pray. I’ve been challenged to pray such that I actually trust that God will answer me. Imagine that? I need to move prayer from the task list to the needs list. I want God to move in me such that I can’t get through a moment without turning to Him.
Tomorrow we depart for vacation. Heading to Tennessee and Alabama to visit sites from the Civil Rights movement. We have been reading so much about race in America, and we wanted to really dive into this area of history about which we know so little. Unfortunately and appallingly, as a white American, this part of history has never seemed relevant to me. I’ve been walking through life thinking that race didn’t matter (easy to say when you are in the majority). I’ve been learning how wrong I have been! It’s so hard to learn what really has gone on (and continues to go on) in our country, a place of which I’ve always been proud. I still believe in the greatness America, and I’m proud to be an American, but those feelings have definitely tempered over the past few months. Even though I will never truly understand what it means to be Black in America, I owe it my children to learn as much as I can.